I looked at Matt and told him I'd be back in a hour. I was leaving for my weekly 6 mile run. I'd usually go on Monday, but I wanted to get it out of the way for the week, so I could sleep longer in between shifts. We kissed and he said be safe as he always does. How funny, as I started on my route, I decided to change my course a bit to be extra safe and stick to the route that was majority sidewalk. It was a beautiful fall afternoon and I was about two miles from home and knew this route so well. I'm coming up to the light at my crosswalk ahead, I look all around to cross at the green light and see no one cars in sight. I step onto the road and as I'm crossing, after a few steps, a truck comes out of nowhere going fast and turning, coming at my face. We lock eyes and I have a split second to decide to jump up or go under, because I realize I'm about to be hit and can't escape it (I literally thought I could die). Fight or flight mode kicks in, and I jump up and forward and the next thing I know I'm thrown out, body spun around and sent onto the pavement. It was sudden, and my body and mind though so quick just seconds before, are at a standstill. I can't move. For the first time in years, I can't get up and run. I want to escape the fear, the pain, the overwhelming feelings all coming at me at once.
I was suddenly being held by a woman, who I later learned jumped out to help. She was like an angel to me and stayed by my side until help arrived and luckily saw everything. I have never been in such pain or so terrified in my life. Six weeks later and the memories are still as though it just happened.
How has this accident changed my life?
It's been six weeks of something I've never had to deal with...trauma, deep heartache and very real physical and emotional pain. I use a cane for the hip and not sure for how much longer. Some days I can walk, others I can't. Picking up my son or lifting him almost always results in pain and many times leaves me unable to walk. Imagine, your 20th month old baby reaching his hands up to you and you having to decide between picking him up and holding him or walking the next hour, it is one of the worst feelings as a mother. And work I will just say has been rough and leave it at that.
But the emotional damage, oh the emotional and mental damage. PTSD is real. Until you've experienced it, you can't understand it. The flashbacks, nightmares, and panicking almost daily are sometimes just overwhelming. At first it scared the mess out of me. I couldn't even pass by the scene and sometimes still can't without breaking down. I've never been the nervous type. I'm usually fairly calm and laid back. And there I was, a week post, breaking down, crying and many times feeling I was about to be hit again or die somehow. Or what about the dreams of being killed or my family being killed and the waking up in fear, a cold sweat and pure panic, unable to breathe and my husband having to hold me through inconsolable tears. I'll spare my mind and everyone else of the details I'd rather not have to relive for the moment. But for six weeks, this has been my life. Don't get me wrong, I'm beyond grateful to just even be here because surviving being hit by a truck and living to tell about in itself I know is a miracle of God.
And through all the pain and mental effects, I know my faith has been made real and I feel God's power filling me as I hold onto Him with all I have with every physical pain or emotional anguish I feel each day. Even still, I am human and I have a flood of feelings and emotions I must face as I move forward. I'm uncertain of so many things and as soon as I hit that pavement everything I thought I was certain of was lost.
This blog was started to share my journey from being an unhealthy young mom to a fit and healthy one. When I first post here, I was a fairly new runner who'd just shed a lot of weight doing it the right way, for once. And I wanted to help encourage other people to do the same. Running was my thing. Some people never got that, and some still don't. But it was my time, for me, away from the world. It was my coping mechanism. For almost 3 yrs, I have been a runner, starting with 1 mile all the way to the finish line of 26.2. It was how I coped with stress or any difficult time I faced these past few years. I ran when I needed to think, pray or just for fun. I was and I am passionate about it. Running changed my life for the better. And in a split second it was taken away. All my hard work for my race this coming weekend gone.
Running was not who I am, but it was a part of what made me who I am. I've run through many heartaches, happy times and against some serious odds, I completed a race some said I never could.
So as I write this, it's still not certain when I will run again. But I will. Doctors say I won't be "right" until I can be out on the road again. But one thing I do know for certain, God hasn't allowed me to experience all these difficult weeks without a reason. He has a plan. And He works ALL things for good as I repeatedly read in Romans. Some days it might be hard to accept it, like when I can't pick up my son, take my kids to the zoo, dance with Maddy in the living room or run. But even in the darkest moments I face, He still holds my hand and keeps me going, when I would not be able relying on my own strength.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Saturday, November 24, 2012
Stationery card
Flourished Elegance Christmas Card
Create Christmas cards for the 2011 holiday season.
View the entire collection of cards.
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Crustless Quiche
CRUSTLESS QUICHE
Serves 6 to 8.
Equipment
9-inch pie plate
small mixing bowl
Ingredients
8 ounces (227 g) cooked ham, cut into bite-size pieces
1 cup (113 g) shredded sharp cheddar cheese, divided
4 eggs, beaten
8 ounces (227 g) cottage cheese
Preparation
1. Preheat oven to 375° F/190° C. Spray 9-inch pie plate with nonstick cooking spray.
2. Spread ham on bottom of pie plate and sprinkle with 3/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese
3. Mix eggs, cottage cheese, and remaining cheddar cheese and pour over the ham and cheese.
4. Bake for 45 minutes or until slightly golden brown.
Variations
Sauteed Spinach: Use leftover Sauteed Spinach for the bottom layer, then top with chopped ham and proceed with the rest of the recipe.
Spinach: Layer one 10 oz box frozen spinach (thawed and drained) or any other frozen green vegetable in bottom of pan. Mix eggs, cheese, and cottage cheese and pour over vegetables.
Seafood: Substitute 3/4 cup chopped seafood of choice for ham.
Add other vegetables, such as cooked broccoli, onions, or roasted red peppers. You can even use jalapeño peppers for a little spice.
Serves 6 to 8.
Equipment
9-inch pie plate
small mixing bowl
Ingredients
8 ounces (227 g) cooked ham, cut into bite-size pieces
1 cup (113 g) shredded sharp cheddar cheese, divided
4 eggs, beaten
8 ounces (227 g) cottage cheese
Preparation
1. Preheat oven to 375° F/190° C. Spray 9-inch pie plate with nonstick cooking spray.
2. Spread ham on bottom of pie plate and sprinkle with 3/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese
3. Mix eggs, cottage cheese, and remaining cheddar cheese and pour over the ham and cheese.
4. Bake for 45 minutes or until slightly golden brown.
Variations
Sauteed Spinach: Use leftover Sauteed Spinach for the bottom layer, then top with chopped ham and proceed with the rest of the recipe.
Spinach: Layer one 10 oz box frozen spinach (thawed and drained) or any other frozen green vegetable in bottom of pan. Mix eggs, cheese, and cottage cheese and pour over vegetables.
Seafood: Substitute 3/4 cup chopped seafood of choice for ham.
Add other vegetables, such as cooked broccoli, onions, or roasted red peppers. You can even use jalapeño peppers for a little spice.
Friday, September 21, 2012
Getting Back to Healthy Eating!
In my last post, I was gearing up to start another 4 month marathon training program. I was all ready to go, then a bout of strep 3 weeks later changed my plans. What first started out as strep throat, turned into a severe intestinal infection from the antibiotics then strep again! I was out of training for almost 5 weeks and realized there was no way I could safely catch up without risking a serious injury. It just wasn't worth it this time around. So after sulking a few days, I realized God obviously had other plans for me and I needed to heal and maybe take a step back for a while. Now after recovering for a few weeks, I am feeling great and even ran 12 miles a few days ago no problem! It felt amazing!
Let me just start by saying I have had a wonderful summer with my family. We've made so many memories and had two awesome vacations, the first to Disney in May and a beach trip to Seaside just a week ago. Many who know me well, know that I have made it a priority to eat well and exercise in the last few years, allowing me to lose weight and keep it off for a while too. Well, as great of a time as I had on my trips, I have completely let my healthy eating habits go out the window and have settled into some not so healthy patterns in my diet. Vacations are meant for having a good time and eating treats and food you may not usually eat at home. But for me, my vacation eating continued from May up until now! Whereas before, I ate very strict (south beach phase 1) 5 days a week and allowed myself two cheat days a week, I more recently have done the opposite and have had 5 cheat days and 2 healthy eating days! lol Those darn Gigis cupcakes and Las Delicias chips and cheese dip have finally caught up with me! So here I am 16 pounds heavier than I was in May and no clothes that fit...time to get back to it!
I completely agree with people out there that claim maintaining weight or losing pounds is 70% diet and 30% exercise. I mean, I run 28-30 miles a week and go to the gym 3 days a week and still gained all those pounds! I will say I am very carb sensitive (anyone with PCOS and insulin resistance like myself with attest to that!), but I also cannot deny that I have eaten way to many desserts and cereal (I could eat a whole box in a day if given to chance!). So here I am, I know what to do, I know how I should eat (and what my body responds best too), and with determination, accountability and some real diet changes, I can get a hold of these annoying pounds that have snuck up on me and be healthy again!
What's my plan?
Well, I know I have to stay away from most all carbs in order for me to lose weight and keep it off. I plan on going back to south beach phase 1, because it is not too drastic and there are so many easy and quick meals and snacks that I love. After a couple weeks on phase 1, I'll carefully go back to my one cheat meal (not cheat day) a week and see what happens from there. This time around, I have joined a fitness group through my gym 24 Fitness and I am so excited to encourage and be encouraged by women who are like minded and wanting to get fit!
As far as working out, I of course will keep my weekly mileage as before and I am training for a very hilly half marathon in NC December 1. I would love to change up my circuit training and weight lifting on my off days though, so I will be adjusting some of my routine after I meet with the girls at the gym.
As always, my main focus is being healthy inside and out and taking care of the body God has graciously blessed me with!
Let me just start by saying I have had a wonderful summer with my family. We've made so many memories and had two awesome vacations, the first to Disney in May and a beach trip to Seaside just a week ago. Many who know me well, know that I have made it a priority to eat well and exercise in the last few years, allowing me to lose weight and keep it off for a while too. Well, as great of a time as I had on my trips, I have completely let my healthy eating habits go out the window and have settled into some not so healthy patterns in my diet. Vacations are meant for having a good time and eating treats and food you may not usually eat at home. But for me, my vacation eating continued from May up until now! Whereas before, I ate very strict (south beach phase 1) 5 days a week and allowed myself two cheat days a week, I more recently have done the opposite and have had 5 cheat days and 2 healthy eating days! lol Those darn Gigis cupcakes and Las Delicias chips and cheese dip have finally caught up with me! So here I am 16 pounds heavier than I was in May and no clothes that fit...time to get back to it!
I completely agree with people out there that claim maintaining weight or losing pounds is 70% diet and 30% exercise. I mean, I run 28-30 miles a week and go to the gym 3 days a week and still gained all those pounds! I will say I am very carb sensitive (anyone with PCOS and insulin resistance like myself with attest to that!), but I also cannot deny that I have eaten way to many desserts and cereal (I could eat a whole box in a day if given to chance!). So here I am, I know what to do, I know how I should eat (and what my body responds best too), and with determination, accountability and some real diet changes, I can get a hold of these annoying pounds that have snuck up on me and be healthy again!
What's my plan?
Well, I know I have to stay away from most all carbs in order for me to lose weight and keep it off. I plan on going back to south beach phase 1, because it is not too drastic and there are so many easy and quick meals and snacks that I love. After a couple weeks on phase 1, I'll carefully go back to my one cheat meal (not cheat day) a week and see what happens from there. This time around, I have joined a fitness group through my gym 24 Fitness and I am so excited to encourage and be encouraged by women who are like minded and wanting to get fit!
As far as working out, I of course will keep my weekly mileage as before and I am training for a very hilly half marathon in NC December 1. I would love to change up my circuit training and weight lifting on my off days though, so I will be adjusting some of my routine after I meet with the girls at the gym.
As always, my main focus is being healthy inside and out and taking care of the body God has graciously blessed me with!
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Ok so I'm not so great with updating my blog!
It's been too long since I've posted! My last post was a few days after my marathon race and here we are again, a day away from starting another 4 month training program for the December 1st St Jude Marathon! Wow, time has gotten away from me. I have taken a little break from the high mileage, eaten a few too many desserts, enjoyed so many wonderful experiences with my two beautiful children and I have loved every second. Sometimes you just have to take a break from the training schedules and strict dieting and just enjoy living. Maybe not quite as much as I have the last 8 months lol, but either way I'm ready to get back into the training mode and this time around I've set new goals and have even greater aspirations for this go round!
I have decided to stick with worked great for me last year, Hal Higdon Novice 2. The mileage works great for busy working moms like myself, and I can do all my long runs while the kids are at MDO on Thursdays. Schedule check, new shoes check (Brooks new Ravenna 3s!!), updated music on the iPod check, and rested knees and hips check (something I failed to start out with last yr!). The only thing missing here are the cooler temps, but I guess I'll have to just wait another 6 weeks or so for that one…just in time for the 14+ milers thank the Lord.
This time around I know what's coming. Now there is good and bad to that. Last year, it was new and the idea of running a marathon seemed so magical but so scary at the same time. I had no idea what to expect and honestly had no clue what I was doing, but I think that worked to my advantage to a point. This year, I know the good, the bad and the ugly…and of course the undeniably most amazing feeling that comes with crossing the 26.2 mile finish line. I also know the pain that comes, both mental and physical. I didn't plan for that last year but this time around I pray I'll be more aware of how to maybe avoid the PT visits and Cortisone shots by hopefully resting more and stretching/strengthening my weak areas. IT Band issues are my downfall, unfortunately…
2012 goals…
-Treat my body well by eating healthy and training wisely
-Complete my race injury free
-Encourage other runners along the way
-And finally, to finish well and hopefully in under the 4:09 time I did last year…(4:00 is the time goal but I'll be happy with whatever time honestly)
So here we go, 4 months of fun is about to begin!!!
I have decided to stick with worked great for me last year, Hal Higdon Novice 2. The mileage works great for busy working moms like myself, and I can do all my long runs while the kids are at MDO on Thursdays. Schedule check, new shoes check (Brooks new Ravenna 3s!!), updated music on the iPod check, and rested knees and hips check (something I failed to start out with last yr!). The only thing missing here are the cooler temps, but I guess I'll have to just wait another 6 weeks or so for that one…just in time for the 14+ milers thank the Lord.
This time around I know what's coming. Now there is good and bad to that. Last year, it was new and the idea of running a marathon seemed so magical but so scary at the same time. I had no idea what to expect and honestly had no clue what I was doing, but I think that worked to my advantage to a point. This year, I know the good, the bad and the ugly…and of course the undeniably most amazing feeling that comes with crossing the 26.2 mile finish line. I also know the pain that comes, both mental and physical. I didn't plan for that last year but this time around I pray I'll be more aware of how to maybe avoid the PT visits and Cortisone shots by hopefully resting more and stretching/strengthening my weak areas. IT Band issues are my downfall, unfortunately…
2012 goals…
-Treat my body well by eating healthy and training wisely
-Complete my race injury free
-Encourage other runners along the way
-And finally, to finish well and hopefully in under the 4:09 time I did last year…(4:00 is the time goal but I'll be happy with whatever time honestly)
So here we go, 4 months of fun is about to begin!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)